Tag Archives: children

Touching base: We stay.

Hello Friends,

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I know it’s been a while since I wrote here. Thank you all loyal readers who have been visiting.

I didn’t stop writing. As a writer, that is kind of impossible. You just have to let words out no matter how silent you are. I wrote  poems to go with my emotions, of love, gratitude, sadness, happiness. I just  did not post them here. Why?

Writing is art. Picture a painter in his studio, doing his thing. You go and accidentally set eyes on this breathtaking piece of work. You applaud, maybe by commenting, “This is a masterpiece”.

The artist looks at you, obviously puzzled. “What do you mean? This is an unfinished painting. It’s terrible, cover it up.”

I would say that has been my story lately. Some writing I feel is not yet ready for the public. Sometimes just stepping from your computer to connect with real people also helps. I have done a lot of that too.

I commented to a friend that this was my safe space, where I get to be me. He smiled and said that the oxymoron was that my safe space was very public.

So this question keeps rearing its head. How much is too much information. I was also pondering on that during my break. I finally answered myself that if I don’t tell my stories, someone else will. They will be under no obligation to be as accurate as I would love them to  be.

I also started a new blog. You might want  to check it out. This is one of the reasons for my break. I was even contemplating pulling down this blog, so that I concentrate on the new child.

But then again, parents don’t neglect their firstborns just because they have birthed a second born. Do they? Incidentally, some people like this first born better. I love all my children equally.

What would I do without julieinspire? Sometimes I just want to be that little girl, that crazy woman and so on.  Writing is therapeutic you know. So julieinspire stays.

Love,

Juls

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Being Mary Jane: A typical single woman’s story

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This week I have been watching Being Mary Jane series by Mara Brock Akil and I must say it tells the story of most single women. I intentionally want to steer clear of the black woman angle because women no matter their race, go through similar experiences.

Let me speak as a single woman chasing a career, educational advancement and financial stability. Sometimes you are so overwhelmed with life that you wake up to realize that you need children, a family and love. Could be the answer to my love of children.They are adorable, they make you smile involuntarily. I experienced this during my short lived attempt at motherhood as an inexperienced teenager, a decade ago. Maybe my attachment to babies helps me connect to those rosy memories. (I have to confess that after giving birth, I remember actually missing little David kicking inside me.)

Every woman has motherly instincts that make her want to experience the joy of feeling a growing baby bump, experiencing the discomfort of morning sickness and eventually holding their own baby. That’s why Mary Jane goes through the humiliating egg freezing procedure on National Television- albeit fictional, it resonates with many single women’s deep, secret desires.

I know I am still waiting for Mr. Right, or is it ‘Still looking for Romeo?’ I have been looking for Romeo ever since I was 23. Maybe he came and I never noticed. Maybe, in the article on KENWA’s Chance Magazine, I was just saying it without really meaning it. Maybe I was not ready to enter a relationship and bring another baby into this world under the wrong circumstances again. You see, once beaten, twice shy.

Does it mean I have not received offers? Don’t get it twisted, I’ve received a number and I choose to tread carefully. I’ve seen my friends deciding to take the risk of having babies out of wedlock and most of them are happy, some are miserable though. There are two sides of every coin. I respect every sister out there who is raising a child as a single mother, either by default or by choice.

Question is, do we now settle for less than what we deserve? Someone told me I don’t pray enough for my husband, another asked me what I was still doing in school. He said that too many books are corrupting my mind, preventing me from settling. This is someone who hopes to call you his wife. Need I say more? So yes, the clock is ticking, and it’s loud, yet it will not lead me to a rash decision, at least not now. So help me God…

“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”
― Jonathan Safran Foer