Being Mary Jane: A typical single woman’s story

This week I have been watching Being Mary Jane series by Mara Brock Akil and I must say it tells the story of most single women. I intentionally want to steer clear of the black woman angle because women no matter their race, go through similar experiences.

Let me speak as a single woman chasing a career, educational advancement and financial stability. Sometimes you are so overwhelmed with life that you wake up to realize that you need children, a family and love. Could be the answer to my love of children.They are adorable, they make you smile involuntarily. I experienced this during my short lived attempt at motherhood as an inexperienced teenager, a decade ago. Maybe my attachment to babies helps me connect to those rosy memories. (I have to confess that after giving birth, I remember actually missing little David kicking inside me.)

Every woman has motherly instincts that make her want to experience the joy of feeling a growing baby bump, experiencing the discomfort of morning sickness and eventually holding their own baby. That’s why Mary Jane goes through the humiliating egg freezing procedure on National Television- albeit fictional, it resonates with many single women’s deep, secret desires.

I know I am still waiting for Mr. Right, or is it ‘Still looking for Romeo?’ I have been looking for Romeo ever since I was 23. Maybe he came and I never noticed. Maybe, in the article on KENWA’s Chance Magazine, I was just saying it without really meaning it. Maybe I was not ready to enter a relationship and bring another baby into this world under the wrong circumstances again. You see, once beaten, twice shy.

Does it mean I have not received offers? Don’t get it twisted, I’ve received a number and I choose to tread carefully. I’ve seen my friends deciding to take the risk of having babies out of wedlock and most of them are happy, some are miserable though. There are two sides of every coin. I respect every sister out there who is raising a child as a single mother, either by default or by choice.

Question is, do we now settle for less than what we deserve? Someone told me I don’t pray enough for my husband, another asked me what I was still doing in school. He said that too many books are corrupting my mind, preventing me from settling. This is someone who hopes to call you his wife. Need I say more? So yes, the clock is ticking, and it’s loud, yet it will not lead me to a rash decision, at least not now. So help me God…

“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”
― Jonathan Safran Foer



2 thoughts on “Being Mary Jane: A typical single woman’s story”

  1. Julie, don’t listen to that man who told you books will corrupt you. Any man scared of marrying an empowered woman is a coward in my opinion.
    Most men tell you they love you and put you in the house to wash and cook and clean. And even though there is no shame in doing these works, it is just that there’s the gender role attached to it and the fact that it doesn’t grow the individual doing it because if you’re the wife, there’s no pay for it.

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